The teacher had been giving a
lecture to his class on modern inventions. “Can any of you boys,” he said, “tell
me anything of importance which did not exist fifty years ago?”
“Me,” exclaimed the brightest pupil.
Math problems:
5/4 of the population don't know how to do fractions.
Modern Art Exposition:
Two men are at a modern art expo.
The first man says:
-Look, what a marvelous little statue.
The second one replays:
--That's a fire extinguisher.
The Death of an Elephant:
The
Janitor of a Zoo weeps at the side of the body of a recently dead
elephant.
A
woman enters the scene, and moved with pity asks:
-Poor
man! This elephant must have been very dear to you.
--You
are wrong, for I don't care about the elephant. I'm cry just at the thought of
the big ditch that I will have to dig.
Common Words:
-What are the three words most used by students?
--I don't know.
-Very good! You are absolutely correct!
Right of Way:
-When does a pedestrian have the right of way?
--When he is in the ambulance.
Almost:
-I have fallen from an immensely high latter and I am uninjured
--And how did you manage that?
- I was on the first step
Car Trouble:
-What did the man do when he heard that 95% of car accidents occur 5 miles from home?
--He moved.
Announcements:
The latest discs:
"My whole heart", in two parts.
"I love solitude", with accompaninment
At a bus station:
-A ticket please.
--Where to?
-To the matrimony of my niece
--Yes, but were do they live?
-At their parents home-town of course!
-I understand , but which city?
--Its not a city, but a little town.
-Could you please just tell me where you want to go?
--It seems to me that you, my dear Sir, are very courius!